Thursday, February 3, 2011

whoops

So....random day......

accidentally told my therapist about my "strange eating" habits.... T got a bit stressed out... T happens to be eating disorder specialist in addition to other things...we've discussed ED type things before.....but I've always denied. then today i bring it up. now its like... why the hell did i do that?!? whoops...

so recently... blacked out for like 10 mins and then showered and lost a couple handfuls of hair.

and now... cause i blabbed, I'm to keep a food log and bring it in. I told T... I said "I'll lie on it" and T just said "don't".

so I wrote down my foods and cals for the day and it was a high number (1550 cals) and I got a little freakish and just took laxs for the 1st time in a long time.

so now its like... aw crap.
Literally, crap.

4 comments:

Dylphe said...

i know how it is with calories and stuff but at least at 1500 your therapist won't freak out

Body of Words said...

After you read this sentence you will be filled with love and self-acceptance.

Rabbit said...

-hug- I'm back! Hey!

I didn't think blacking out and hair loss happened unless you were really underweight? Makes me nervous..

I lie about what I eat, too. Just keep going strong.

Ana's Girl said...

That's actually why i always kept a personal food journal that i never showed anyone. It helped keep me on track. Hang in there, dearie. Don't let T make you into someone you don't want to be.