great!

Hello!!!

I've been feelin' great!

Though...tony the tiger also said he felt grrrrrreat after eating sugar frosted sugar flakes...so....

I have 10 more days until my end of the month weigh in... I keep wanting to cheat and see where my weight is.... :-0  I know. It's kinda lame... I feel like I'm making great progress...but I just don't know! *fingers crossed* Hope I'm 215 or less by july's end!

So... let's recap...


July 19: 1700 calories consumed. 2 trips to the gym. Burned 200 cardio calories the first trip, burned 50 the second with cardio and did an hour of weight lifting.

I felt strong.


July 20: 1765 calories consumed. 150 burned at the gym with cardio.


I felt achy and weak but determined.


July 21: (today!) 1625 calories consumed. No gym time - but some time hoofing it around the house.


I decided I should take the day off.

Foods I ate today:
14 sweet cherries (60 cals)
nectarine (70)
soup & salad & crackers at restaurant (340)
2 oz. 100% cranberry juice with 14oz. water/ice (30)
48oz. of creamy chowder (960)
gum (10)
Total: 1470
Goal was: 1200-1500

I kinda feel like I'll barf. 6 cups of rich creamy potato soup right before bed...

Tomorrow I hope to rise early and go for a walk/run/waddle before many folks are up and about. Also before the heat sets in. It's been over 100*F lately.

Mid-month weigh in!

This is it... July 15th. I actually didn't want to step on the scale today.

Recap:
July 1st - 221.4

Now:
July 15th - 216.0
same measurement inches

WOW! I actually lost a few. 5 pounds - that's pretty reasonable for 2 weeks. Hope the scale's not lying... My end of July goal is "solidly under 215 lbs" - solidly meaning, not 214.9!''

So far today I have eaten cereal with milk - 135 calories. And iced peppermint tea with no calorie sweetener for zero cal. Just not really hungry. I'm sure I'll eat more later, probably get 1200 today.

Today I'm going to try to fix my bike. And go for a walk. Maybe I'll go to the gym later - if I can get a ride or if I'm ambitious enough to walk across town... It's not that it is impossibly far away, there's just so many streets to cross and no sidewalks, so it's...awkward.

I've got bruises all up and down my legs. Gotta figure out what that is about.

Okay - so I'm all hyped up about this weigh-in being LOWER than the first! Hopefully I'll be motivated to actually MOVE MY BODY in the last two weeks of July :)

back back back!

I'm back from vacation!


It was....okay. Sorta. Ate a ton and a half and hardly moved. Probably the most exercise I got was from turning the pages of my book. Okay, so I'm really lazy, I know it. Nothing new about that. I got a bit tan from doing a really pathetic attempt at swimming in the hotel pool. Nice to have pool access, but my dad's wallet is aching from the hotel costs - wish family would let us stay with them... I mean, we went out there to spend time with them! sheesh.  It's a pretty land-locked part of the country, but there is a lake. We all went out there. I put on and took off a swimsuit, settled for shorts and a tee. I think the skinnies must vacation at the coast, go to a beach or something. The fatties, hang out in the lake. Blending in with the other people around, I felt free to lay around and eat. Again, sheesh!


So this whole plan-thing, to weigh only 3x a month. I'm kinda dreading it now... I mean... I have 3 days until I'm "due". I think it's gonna be a gain.


In fact, I almost hope it's a gain. I didn't do anything consistently enough to deserve weight loss. But, regardless of how it turns out. I'm going to do better. I need to do better. Cause right now I feel like....dung.


So concrete plans...for change...for progress... I need to think about that.

Q's, cals, goals, book, and vacay.

What do you all think of my new blog layout? Is the text easy enough to read?

Today the family unexpectedly went out to eat. I had cereal and fruit in the morning, then the big dinner. Calories are 680 for dinner + 150 for fruit + 300 for cereal and milk = 1130 total.

I'm going to go eat a massive salad that will add about 140 plus a bit more fruit for 200.

So assume ~1500 for the day. Not bad. It's gonna be terrible this week, going on holiday. But I think the exercise and walking about will balance whatever I eat. I'll keep a log and let you all know how it goes when I get back.

I posted a couple days ago that I'm going virtually scale-free. I keep almost weighing just out of habit! My next scale day is July 15th. I'm excited to see if this works - if I work harder to make a bigger difference on the scale, by not seeing it stand stagnate, stuck at the same number every day. *fingers crossed* that my number will be different AND LOWER! At the end of July!

Here's some more stats, just for the heck of it:
Clothing sizes (US):
Pants/Jeans - US size 20
Shirts - 2XL
Weight - about 220

And the goals that go with them:
Jeans - size 12 or less. It would be amazing to be a single digit size!
Shirts - size M
Weight - 150 or less

-----------------
Other thing: 
I read a book recently that was pretty bizarre, and I think pretty good. It's called "Mercy Unbound" by Kim Antieau. Basically Mercy is a very well rounded, intelligent girl who is turning into an angel. She thus does not eat, because angels don't need to eat.

That's it for now, I'll be back on to write more and read/comment on all your blogs in a week and a half!
 

need a little accountability

I'm alone in the house for the next few hours.

Usually I would use this unmonitored time to methodically eat my way through the kitchen. Sometimes I would follow this with a nice, long vomit.

So for the moment, I'm just going to list what I've eaten so far today - with the hope it'll stop me, before I start!

Woke late, first meal:

18 blueberries
4 medium sized strawberries
PB&J
1.5 c. lettuce w/ spicy brown mustard
1/4 orange
1 quart water with a Benefiber Orange packet
Calories: 530

Second meal:
1 veggie burger w/white bun
salad w/ 1 tablespoon dressing
3 oz. carrots
0.5 c. blueberries
Calories: 360

Total so far: 890 calories

After typing and adding all this, I've decided to eat some popcorn later on and bring it up to an even 1000 calories. I have also thought of a better use of my alone time... exercise!

I'm going to pop in a DVD. Then later clean up around the house.

P.S. Thanks Falling_Starlight for your comment! Good to know I'm not the only self-conscious person out there trying to exercise! My family also makes crude comments about strangers on appearances, fat/skinny, stupid, etc.

**Update**
I had an indulgent bowl of popcorn with a little oil and some salt, then a bowl of cereal with milk. This brings my total calories for the day to approximately 1520. I'm very happy with that. Didn't go on a full-out binge, and I exercised a wee bit. At my size, I could lose weight eating that much.

The exercise attempt was... haha... yeahhh...

I spent more time getting the plastic wrap and security device stickers off the DVD than I spent using it! But workout dance DVDs are fun! I enjoyed the few minutes I did. Just got wheezy and had to stop.

At-home and No-equipment Exercise

I was reading Ana's Girl's blog posts from June. (I'm behind on all your blogs!)

Some things she'd written reminded me of isometric exercises, and of at-home-no-equipment exercises. So here's some links.

Isometric Exercise tutorial

Shape's Workout links page

Bunch of info about muscle groups, simple exercises, callisthenics right HERE.

Just about every magazine geared towards women has a website with a fitness/exercise section.

i feel fat... but optimistic

I feel fat.

I can't see my toes. Literally.

I have NO clothes that look even halfway good on me.

It's freakin' summer and I'm still freakin' fat.

So... the plan:

I weighed/measured on the 1st. I'll do it again on the 15th and again on the 31st. And that's it. On no other day shall I step onto the scale. I'm a bit of a scale junkie, so I'm wagering that by taking the scale away, I will work harder to see a bigger difference from the 1st to mid-July and then to the end of the month.

THE FAT STATS:

222 lbs.

(all measurements in inches at widest parts)
42 bust
43 waist
49 hip
47 butt
15 upper arm
26.5 per thigh
16.25 per mid-shin
6.5 wrist


THE MEANS:

No starvation. But also no high calorie days. Keep calories above 1200 but below 1600. Eat somewhat intuitively, but balance calorie consumption with exercise. Spend less time sitting, more time moving. Get enough sleep per night. And plenty to drink. Limit sodium and cut off caffeine by 4pm. Write what I eat, how many calories. Be mindful ~ pay attention to what I'm eating as I'm having it, and also be sure I'm not emotional-eating. Ask, "is it worth the calories?" (It's usually not).


A METHOD THAT WORKS FOR ME:

I've found that for me, thinking of calories in terms of cost helps. Example: 3 strawberries would cost me 25 calories out of 1400 for the day. Is it worth it? Definitely. Whereas a portion of fries would cost 400 calories, a big chunk of my daily expenditures! Not worth the cost at all!

Also going with the cost thing, I can search for the bargains. 3 strawberries for 25 calories are packed with flavor and nutrients, but won't fill me up. French Fries count as a starchy vegetable, but come with a bunch of fat and oil and salt. Might satiate my hunger at the moment, but I'm sure to be hungry later. For the price of the fries I could have the strawberries plus a giant veggie salad without dressing, air popped corn and a cup of soup!


EXERCISE:

I hate public exercising - I always feel soooo self conscious. Any one else feel that way?

This Summer I am going to exercise by: doing cardio and strength training in a community center/gym, walk around the neighborhood, find and ride a bike, and finally unwrap and use the workout DVDs I bought ages ago.

I plan/hope to do the gym three times a week (if I can get a ride, it's too far/ too many busy streets to walk) maybe work out at the gym MWF. And then 2-3 other days do light activity like walking, DVDs, biking, and other at home exercises. One day will be a total rest day. (but not a binge eat day!)

I would like to try some form of yoga.