Friday, August 13, 2010

6 thoughts, 13 psych disorders, 1 sleepy person

Here are six thoughts I have floating loose in my brain that I'm writing before I go to bed.

  1. Purging. Yes I have done it. I got into a barfing habit for a while, then went into the laxative use. Still tempting... but laxatives don't result in real weight loss and only lead to dehydration (and loss of the ability to poo). And vomiting... bloodshot eyes, yellow teeth stripped of enamel, sore throat, crackly voice, obvious risk of getting thank you. So now I eat as best as I can each day and balance it with exercise when possible.
  2. Eating. I eat vegan usually, but sometimes have something containing dairy. I eat up to 300 calories in the morning, any extra in the afternoon if needed, and a regular family sit-down dinner meal (about 500).
  3. Exercise. I have membership at a community center/gym, but it is far away (roads aren't good for pedestrians and can't always use the car). I have a bike. I live in a good neighborhood to walk around.
  4. Sex. For a long time I thought I must be a lesbian because I'm not attracted to dudes. Now I think I'm asexual. I basically see sex as a necessity for making babies and nothing else.
  5. Friends. I have none in real life. I've always been short on friends....I think I just don't know how to make any. This translates to...
  6. Hermit. I hardly leave the house. When I do it's an ADVENTURE!

Now for some psycho-babble fun, here's a list of every mental illness I've ever been diagnosed with: (a * means it's still a valid diagnosis)

  1. Depression*
  2. Bipolar Disorder
  3. Social Anxiety
  4. Generalized Anxiety Disorder*
  5. Seasonal Affective Disorder
  6. Synesthesia*
  7. Borderline Personality Disorder
  8. Paranoid Schizophrenia
  9. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder*
  10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder*
  11. Depersonalization Disorder*
  12. Insomnia*
  13. Psychosomatic Pain*
Yup, I can be pretty screwed up sometimes.
When I was diagnosed with bipolar and later schizophrenia I was heavily "treated" with medications that "didn't work"...turns out I don't have either disorder. Ick. I took so many drugs of so many varieties... I have taken at least 15 different anti-psychotics, -depressants, -anxieties... Been locked up for months at a time. Haha. Nothing's so funny as taking bunches of medications for problems I never had....


Now I'm just as weird/crazy as I ever was, only uninsured. Suddenly...I'm healed! I don't need meds anymore... Amazing, huh?

(I will comment and catch up on reading blogs tomorrow maybe, sunday for sure!)

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