Friday, August 7, 2009

MASOCHIST

Today was a normal calorie day. It wasn't planned to be that, but it turned out that way. Breakfast was good, 235 calories. Lunch was excessive at 500 calories. And dinner was yet another sit down occasion, I did alright at about 550 calories. But then came dessert at 600 calories. Euh. So total calories for the day: 1885 - I can expect a slight gain tomorrow morning. Today I was down almost 2 pounds but still not where I was at on Wednesday.

Do any of you have awful, persistent headaches that don't go away with sleep/medicine? What about dizziness?

Maybe I'm like masochistic or something but I'm really enjoying the dizziness, and even more so when I get so dizzy I have to sit down. That is, as long as I'm totally alone! I guess I just enjoy any sensation in my body that's different than what I feel in a normal day. That's probably why I cut and take pills... and it's probably why I'm doing what I'm doing now. Alright, gettin' too introspective.

So maybe I'm just imagining things, but last night in bed I started feeling my elbows and knees... those things are sharp!

We'll see how it goes...

xoxo
Samantha

7 comments:

Greene said...

Dizziness comes with the package, glad you enjoy it - I'm still working on that haha ;P

Savory Sweet said...

ah I love feeling lightheaded, especially when I have to reach out and grab something. lol. Gray outs are a bit nice as well.

Hun, I'm worried about your cutting and pills. I'm a cutter and pill popper as well... Know that I'm here for you. *hugs*

lizzy said...

cos its a sign we are getting somewhere!! cutting is good, but unfortuantly it leaves scars, not s good. at least restricting leaves no scars

morg-ana said...

dizzy = getting somewhere :)
i love getting dizzy too. when the black spots take over my sight and suddenly everything is gone. but i'm still aware of everything going on around me. and then it slowly comes back to my eyes. it's an adventure :)

Ana's Girl said...

I love the feeling of sickness because of my lack of food. I love the feeling of hunger too. It all means i'm getting somewhere. (But then again, i do love to cut too. Such a masochist.)

Anyways, keep up the good work. You're well on your way!

xthinforever said...

I hate feeling dizzy ancy or shaky. Absolutely hate it. I get awful headaches too sometimes.. It means I need food. :( damn it all to hell. Usually they go away with excedrin migraine. :) Just for future reference.

Flushed said...

I'm starting to get a liking for the dizziness myself, feeling a bit feather-like, only cuz I associate it with progress. The only problem is feeling that when I have to play softball, they don't mix. Boo!

Introspective isn't a bad thing :-)
To each her own.
Your blog-your rules!